A few days ago, I was on a flight, when a gentleman next to me asked me this question with a smile. I got into a conversation with him and few mins into in, I realized, I don't even know his name. I interrupted the conversation and asked him his name. Such a unique name he has, and I got reminded of the tvc by idea telecom many years ago, whereby our identities would become our phone numbers. I don't know how many of you recall that. It saddens me to see how much of the identity we have or want to have is associated with “what do you do?”
This isn’t the first time I am in this dilemma to find the right answer to give. This morning, I remember waking up to the answers in my head about what do I really do?
The most favourite question asked today, when you meet someone for the first time. Also the first question mostly. And it gets me wondering what is the correct answer really for this? What kind of answer will sound impressive? Should it be long or should it be short? Is this worthy of mentioning or not? What does it really mean, when you ask me, “what do you do?”
To be honest all of us do so many things, sometimes interesting, sometimes mundane, sometimes notorious stuff or sometimes nothing. Is there a right or a wrong answer? So why should just one thing you do perhaps for a living, alone get so much importance? There’s so much social pressure in that question, I feel. And the one thing that you do for a living, may not even give you the life that makes you happy. Maybe it’s all the other things that make you happy and that gives you the strength to do what you do for a ‘living’ with ease. Let’s be honest, sometimes all that you do is not your primary choice and that’s okay too. So why not celebrate more than the socially acceptable label of “what do you do?”
So, my response to ‘what do you do?’ Will depend on where I am at, in that moment. And trust me it can be quite varied ;)
I am actually gonna write down the responses that I have sometimes given or at least thought of giving.
.. I do a lot of things, what do you particularly wanna know?
.. I create !! What, you wonder? I create magic!! Magically convert waste into art pieces. I create my life, the one that keeps me at peace.
.. I am a hand crafter, and a very passionate one.
.. I am an Interior Designer professionally. I love spaces and I see a lot of potential in them. I love planning spaces efficiently. I loved that part of life, I sometimes miss it. And that’s okay, I guess.
.. I am a sustainable living advocate. And on somedays, I can be very mad about the planet being butchered. Some days, eco-anxiety gets too much for me and I am learning that I can only play my part and not undo everything overnight. Sometimes I am really sarcastic, if I see someone extremely ignorant.
.. I escape into nature ever so often. It’s home. I take the paths not taken, make conversations with people, make memories that fill my soul.
.. Sometimes I do nothing, out of choice. And trust me, it’s the most difficult thing to do - NOTHING! Somehow I have learnt that I am only as valuable as my work. But as an individual and as an artist I am re-learning that rest is a must. And NOT because I am exhausted or unwell. That’s not the reason why I do nothing at times. Doing nothing is where the best of my ideas come, understanding of life happens, it allows me to be more present in fleeting moments where otherwise my mind is always wandering.
.. And on some days I can’t do anything, not out of choice. But I freeze with fear, anxiety and self doubt takes over. I fall into the rabbit hole of worthlessness and I struggle to get up. Someday it’s a struggle to even cry and on other days I can’t stop crying. I loose interest in everything that is so dear to me. Yes, that’s a real thing, and it’s only a human trait and a normal one too! I spend a lot of energy fighting that and recovering from it. Yes, this is also one of the things I do. Because it’s real, it impacts my life, and it deserves to be spoken about.
.. I compost. It’s like the most magical thing I get to see, literally. Witness how Mother Nature magically turns trash into treasure that adds so much value to our life on this planet. And it’s the simplest thing. The power of simplicity!! A professor told me once, when I was a student, that I understand the power of simplicity. I don't know what she saw in me then, nnd it’s only over time in life, I understood the true meaning. Composting not only changed my life, it changed me as a person too. And I feel extremely grateful.
.. Oh, I am a full time parent and I love that profile of my job too much. (Sarcasm here - it's not a job, like it's being made to sound today) Being one has made me question everything I learnt about life, as an individual. Together we started unschooling and what a beautiful journey it is. And like everything else, it is not just pretty, but a perfect blend of blood, sweat and tears and loads of it. I guess that’s what makes it more beautiful!!
.. I am very curious and my curiosity has taught me the skills I have today. It has enabled me to be a life learner. Sometimes the way I see and feel, very recently I am starting to think I really am a special child (pun intended, IYKYK). In the times when labeling is the most crucial part, I remind myself I am only human. And I am learning to be one without being labelled (tamed).
.. On some days I am exploding with so much excitement, I can’t stop making, I can’t stop creating, I just can’t stop being inspired.
.. I don't do very well with small talk, so I socially avoid people sometimes. I feel deeply, I think too much, too little at times, I am a woman that strives for equality, not because it’s a trend. Equality is a space where everyone has the permission to feel freely, gender no bar. I am funny on some days and I could murder on some. No, that’s not me PMSing, that’s me being real. I am discovering that I enjoy writing, sometimes poetic, other times not. I am a weaver, I spin yarns. I am exploring the world, my world inside and out. I am a rebel, a beautiful label given to me. But if you ask me, I am only a human. And these are the things I do for now!!!
And I bring ALLLL of my human experiences into my expression as art that I create. And THIS definitely deserves to be spoken about.
So next time if you ask me, ‘what do you do?’ Be more specific of what you wanna know I do. Or who knows i’d surprise you and me both depending on where I am in that moment ;) and if you are asked, what is it that you do, don’t be afraid to ask, ‘what part of what I do, do you wanna exactly know? Let’s normalize ‘what do you do?’ In more areas of human experiences. Let’s talk about what do you do with more depth! Tell me what do you want to do! What do you do, that makes you happy, not happy, drives you….. tell me and I’d like to listen!!!!
